I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
