I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am midnight drunk by noon
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
