Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
