I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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