Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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