we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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