She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
