I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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