are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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