What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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