In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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