My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
