yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
