I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
