Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
