C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
