Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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