she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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