fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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