Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
