There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
