no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He felt like a one man threesome
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
