Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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