big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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