About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
