a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
