so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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