i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
