no, he came in my armpit
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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