Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
