i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
