I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize