The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
