My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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