i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
