I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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