Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
zippers are such a cool invention
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
