I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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