He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Houston, we have a blender
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
