I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
