I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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