im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
