Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
