Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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