I think I am morally bankrupt
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Randomize
