I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I want to be your penis for a week.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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