i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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