im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Are we still banned from the library?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
