The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
