i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
