Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
